Dalek I Loved You: Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special Edition by Nick Griffiths

Author:Nick Griffiths [Griffiths, Nick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harrison Dextrose Publishing
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Some Things . . . That Made Me Ill

Those beers in Fleet – This was another early warning on the alcohol front, at a Fleet Country Club rock night. A bunch of us from school went along and drank too much. Somehow, I got talking to a woman and remember discussing Gordon Giltrap (about whom I knew absolutely nothing) before excusing myself, breaking into a run, slapping open the toilet door and projectile vomiting into a sink. My date had disappeared by the time I returned, self-consciously swiping at carrot pieces on my AC/DC T-shirt.

Offal – It isn't always drink. I've had some terrible food-poisoning (honest). A couple of years ago, Sinead and I travelled around Mexico. Guide books advise against eating anything from roadside sellers, but I am always determined to experiment food-wise. It looked like mince as the cheery vendor grilled it before me. When I sank my teeth into its texture, I realised it was offal. Still it tasted great and the jalapeno chillies disguised any heinous crimes. That night, the stomach cramps started and we spent a day at the Mexican seaside holed up in a hotel room, watching television so poor that my wife almost developed the runs in sympathy.

Curry – This one was even worse. I won't say where the curry was from, but I took the unprecedented step of informing Health & Safety. The stomach cramps started when I was in Kent, visiting my parents, and appeared at such clockwork intervals, and with such violence, that I wondered whether I was having a baby. (Actual mothers should freely rubbish the exaggeration.)

All the ‘fun’ of the fair – Visiting a university mate in Poole, Dorset, he suggested hitting a fair that had pitched up locally. I don't even like fairs. It was a pokey outfit and, given the paucity of entertainment on offer, I decided to have a go on the Waltzer. Round and round it went, while a bloke span the car itself, so my head and stomach were spinning on two axes. I started to feel sick. There was no one waiting for a ride, so we got a second, free, tagged on to the first. Then a third. The nausea was stunning. When I was finally able to stagger away, I vomited in front of some small children clutching candyfloss, who pointed and giggled. Never again.

The Games Day – But sometimes it is drink. Though one does learn, occasionally enthusiasm overtakes common sense. My university pal Andy and I are keen pub-quizzers. Our usual quizmaster, Steve King, also ran Games Days: rotating games such as cribbage, pinball, pool, etc, played in a pub. This one started at noon and continued until early evening. It's hard to keep a tab on your alcohol intake when you are focusing on beating someone at Jenga. My stomach hit the alert button just after the Victoria Line tube left Kings Cross for Highbury & Islington - handily, one of the underground system's longest trips. The concentration that took.

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